Priorities

I hope you'll always know (& feel) that you're my number 1 priority.  You're so little right now, but I still wonder what you're feeling on a daily basis...  Do you like going to school everyday?  Do you feel like we make enough time for you?  Do you like the array of foods I'm trying to put in front of you?  Can you recognize the stress that either of us feel on any given day depending on what happened at work that day?  Do you know how much your little smiling face changes my entire mood when I walk in to your room at school at the end of the day? 

We just got back from a great long weekend in Lake Placid, Auntie Alyssa summed it up nicely when she said from the photos on Instagram it looked like we were happily enjoying controlled chaos...  It was so nice to have a weekend away, spend some time with our family and remember what's important. 

It can be very challenging to keep things in perspective when you're drowning in the day to day realities of life.  There are so many things I want to be able to do for you and with you right now.  I want to spend days thumbing through wholesome baby food cook books so I can make sure we're giving you the nutrition you need.  I want to lay on the floor with you for hours so you can explore all of the toys in your playroom for as long as you want.  I want to take photographs of you everyday in all of your adorable outfits so I remember how cute & innocent you are right now, while you're not mobile & getting in to trouble just yet.  I want to enroll in Mommy & Me classes so we can socialize with other local new moms with babies your age.  I want to go to baby music classes with you and see your face light up from exciting music!  I want you to know how much love I have in my heart for you and how I think about you ALL day when I'm at work. 

I've been really busy at work lately and it makes my head feel like it's going to burst with pressure.  I want to do my best at work but when I do that, I don't feel like I'm doing my best at home.  I didn't pick you up from school today until 5:10pm, it didn't hit me how late it was until I checked you out on the computer and I felt a small piece of my heart break off.  Days like this make me wonder if I have my priorities straight...